J.K. Rowling laughs all the way to the bank 

In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Ron Weasley uses a levitation spell to knock a troll unconscious. On Thursday evening, his creator J.K. Rowling repeated the feat on Twitter. The world’s most highly paid author was asked how she slept at night, “knowing you’ve lost a whole audience from buying your books?”

“I read my most recent royalty cheques and find the pain goes away pretty quickly,” she replied.

I read my most recent royalty cheques and find the pain goes away pretty quickly. pic.twitter.com/s4gl9rlqxl

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) October 13, 2022

Now, Cockburn has always been a fan of J.K. Rowling, but her recent years on the right side of the culture war has seen her find a new audience, consisting of people with common sense. In case you missed it, the author was “canceled” in 2019 for expressing support for Maya Forstater, a woman lost an employment tribunal over comments she has made on social media about trans people.

J.K.’s tweet of support read:

Dress however you please.
Call yourself whatever you like.
Sleep with any consenting adult who’ll have you.
Live your best life in peace and security.
But force women out of their jobs for stating that sex is real?
#IStandWithMaya #ThisIsNotADrill

The Gen Z loons that once formed a substantial part of the author’s fan base are now spending their days scribbling bitchy tweets. Meanwhile, J.K. is laughing all the way to Gringotts, with an estimated net worth of around $1 billion.

This isn’t the first time the author has absolutely obliterated Twitter trolls. In 2017, someone tweeted her saying they were going to burn all of her books and movies. In true J.K. fashion, she replied with “Well, the fumes from the DVDs might be toxic and I’ve still got your money, so by all means borrow my lighter.” Crucio!

It’s been a good week for Rowling after Tom Felton, who played Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter movies leapt to her defense. Cockburn was glad to see this, as it seems that every other young cast member has conveniently forgotten that they owe their whole career to the fifth bestselling female author of all time.

Felton told the Times of London, “I’m often reminded, attending Comic-Cons in particular, that no one has single-handedly done more for bringing joy to so many different generations and walks of life.”

J.K.: in the words of Ron Weasley, don’t let the muggles get you down.