Nancy Pelosi’s Italian job

The price of gasoline in California is averaging at over $6 a gallon. Inflation is 8.6 percent. The nation is reeling after yet another mass shooting, and the Democratic base is furious at their party for being caught flat-footed by the Supreme Court on abortion.

How are our nation’s leaders responding? Well, Nancy Pelosi and her ample bosom are taking a waterfront stroll at a private beach club in Italy.

The Speaker of the House looked well below her eighty-two years as she showcased her tanned figure in a turquoise-patterned bathing suit. Pelosi and her beau Paul are taking a break from, respectively, suspect stock trading and drink driving at the highly exclusive Alpemare Beach Club near Florence, owned by Italian opera star Andrea Bocelli.

Cockburn finds it hard to believe these environs are the best place for the Speaker to keep abreast of the multitudinous crises facing her constituents.

According to the New York Post, who published the beachfront snaps of the Pelosi clan, “Reports from insiders said most patrons didn’t recognize Pelosi and kept asking the lifeguards who she was.”

Pelosi may be on vacation in southern Europe, but that hasn’t stopped her from aggressively trying to fundraise off the fall of Roe. “I asked you Monday. I asked you Tuesday. I asked you Wednesday. I asked you Thursday. I’m truly sorry to ask you again today,” reads one Pelosi fundraising email from last week. “But my team just informed me we failed to meet yesterday’s FIRST End of Quarter Deadline since the Supreme Court’s ruling. I won’t sugarcoat this. If I don’t reach 1,387 more gifts before midnight to close the budget gap, it will be the single most devastating setback for Democrats’ chances of winning this election and protecting women’s reproductive freedoms nationwide.”

Reaction online to the photos of Pelosi was typically muted.

“If I have nightmares about Nancy Pelosi’s boobs tonight I am suing,” tweeted the Post Millennial’s Ashley St. Clair.

“Inflation has hit Nancy Pelosi,” wrote comedian Andrew Schulz.

“Please stop sharing Nancy Pelosi’s ta-tas this is a family site,” tweeted @beyondreasdoubt.

“Nancy Pelosi’s insane boob job is humanizing. It’s like the only thing she’s ever done that I relate to besides not being that good at her job,” wrote Chapo Trap House’s Felix Biederman. “If I had $200 million I would get bicep implants and a pelvic smoothing at age ninety-three.”

Earlier in the day, Pelosi had been “looking at some Da Vincis” in Florence, according to the Daily Wire’s Mary Margaret Olohan. “Her security physically grabbed me when I identified myself as a reporter and would not let me speak to her.”

Cockburn is hardly surprised to learn that the Speaker is eager to maintain a healthy cleavage between herself and members of the Fourth Estate…